var how_many_ads = 21;
var now = new Date()
var sec = now.getSeconds()
var ad = sec % how_many_ads;
ad +=1;

if (ad==1) {
	quote="Life isn't like a box of chocolates... it's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today might burn your ass tomorrow.";
	author="";
}

if (ad==2) {
	quote="Every Woman Should Have 4 Pets in her life: A mink in her closet, a Jaguar in her garage, a Tiger in her bed, and a jackass that pays for everything!!!";
	author="";
}

if (ad==3) {
	quote="I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon, and all the less important ones just never go away.";
	author="";
}

if (ad==4) {
	quote="The early worm gets eaten by the bird, so sleep late.";
	author="";
}

if (ad==5) {
	quote="You can either be part of the problem or part of the solution, but in the end, being part of the problem is much more fun.";
	author="";
}

if (ad==6) {
	quote="It's not show FRIENDS, it's show BUSINESS.";
	author="- Bob Sugar in "Jerry Maguire"";
}

if (ad==7) {
	quote="Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile from them, and you'll have their shoes...";
	author="";
}

if (ad==8) {
	quote="There are only two rules to being successful:<br>1) Never tell people everything you know.";
	author="";
}

if (ad==9) {
	quote="May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person who screws up your day and may their arms be too short to scratch...";
	author="";
}

if (ad==10) {
	quote="A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.";
	author="";
}

if (ad==11) {
	quote="It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.";
	author="";
}

if (ad==12) {
	quote="Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience...";
	author="";
}

if (ad==13) {
	quote="Doing nothing is very hard to do...you never know when you&#39;re finished.";
	author="- Leslie Nielsen";
}

if (ad==14) {
	quote="Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won&#39;t bother you for weeks.";
	author="";
}

if (ad==15) {
	quote="The key to life is sincerity, once you can fake that, you&#39;ve got it made.";
	author="";
}

if (ad==16) {
	quote="A friend will help you move, but a true friend will help you move bodies.";
	author="";
}

if (ad==17) {
	quote="Eat right, exercise daily, live clean, die anyway.";
	author="";
}

if (ad==18) {
	quote="Going cold turkey isn&#39;t as delicious as it sounds.";
	author="Homer Simpson";
}

if (ad==19) {
	quote="In the 60&#39;s people took acid to make the world look weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it look normal.";
	author="";
}

if (ad==20) {
	quote="Don&#39;t think of it as being outnumbered, think of it as a wide target selection.";
	author="";
}

if (ad==21) {
	quote="I did absolutely nothing, and it was everything I thought it could be.";
	author="Peter Gibbons (Office Space)";
}

document.write(quote + ' <i>' + author + '</i>');